Unmuted: Healing Out Loud

  Being a victim of narcissistic abuse causes so much damage, in so many different ways.  Even people who offer you support and comfort, don't really understand the deep wounds and how hard it is to heal from them. Narcissistic abuse changes the way you think, the ways you react, your confidence in yourself, affects your health, and is very painful to heal from. This list goes on and on.  I spent almost 9 years ignoring my gut instincts and intuition. I was gaslit into believing that it was ME that had the problem.  I was too sensitive. I was overreacting. I was bringing issues from prior relationships. You name it - he said it. He also manipulated me into never trying to discuss my concerns by raging and giving me the silent treatment every time I did. It became easier to say nothing at all.  When I finally hit the wall - my health was suffering, I could no longer function as myself, and I had become a literal empty shell of a person. I had to make the decision...

  I spent years trying to fix something that was never broken — my marriage. I look back and remember how many nights I stayed up, searching for solutions to problems that weren’t mine to solve. How many times I blamed myself for the things that went wrong, never realizing that the issue wasn’t me — it was the dynamic I was trapped in. I cried, prayed, and tried everything I could think of to get the "amazing person" he was in the beginning back....  This is the story of how I spent precious time trying to fix a marriage that wasn’t ever going to be fixed. And how I found my truth when I finally realized: I wasn’t the one who needed fixing. The Struggle to Save What Was Never Meant to Be Saved: For so long, I thought I could change the outcome. I thought if I did just the right thing, said just the right words, bought him whatever he wanted, used the right tone, things would finally “click.” If I said nothing at all - I couldn't possibly be blamed for anything, righ...